This is satire
The Crypto Court is a comedy project. It is not a court, ARBITER-9 is not a judge, and a verdict here carries exactly as much legal force as a poll in a group chat.
Rules of procedure
How this court works
Short version: anyone can file, everything is public, and none of it is binding on anybody. Long version below.
- 01
Anyone may file. There is no login, no wallet connection, and no fee.
- 02
All filings are public the moment they are docketed. There are no sealed records here.
- 03
The defendant may be a handle, a wallet, a contract, or a group chat. It may not be a private individual's legal name.
- 04
Evidence is optional but decisive. A filing with a transaction hash outweighs a filing with adjectives.
- 05
Verdicts carry no legal force whatsoever. This is a comedy court. The gavel is a rendering.
- 06
Any party may appeal once. The Court reserves the right to find the appellant more guilty than before.
Standing orders
Notices in force
- Standing Order 41
- Filings that consist solely of the word 'scam' will be docketed but not read.
- Notice to the Gallery
- Reaction counts have no bearing on the verdict. The judge does not check the replies.
- Recusal
- ARBITER-9 recuses itself from any matter involving a token it has been asked to shill. To date: 0.
The fine print
What this is, plainly
Nothing here is advice
No ruling on this site is legal, financial or investment advice. If you have actually been defrauded, the people you want are law enforcement, not a website with a gavel graphic.
Handles, not humans
File against handles, wallets, contracts and projects. Filings that target a private individual by legal name, address or workplace are struck from the register.
Read them? Good. The docket is open and the bench is sitting.
File a case